i'm not trying to make thisus difficult; br this is my own stupidity, br my own boy-ishness that keeps br all that i long for from bounding out. br br what DO i long for? br well, that's the question! br but i've realized i cannot answer it. br i've realized that romanticism, these sunrises, can't work it. br i've realized even she cannot answer it. br br i long to to be a man, yet i cannot see past br this cell I've been molded to. br i long to be His-His I say! - br i am afraid of growing old br without following my Savior. br yet i am so afraid of following. br br to follow=to leave where i am; br to leave where i am=change; br change=what if? who am i? who is she? will she come too? br br I long for You to make me a man... br To make me strong and steadfast. br Though, not by wordly measures, br not by success or by might or by wealth. br for i am through with shadowlands. br br Jesus, I'm Yours.