Starring down the barrel of a hot bedded 45 br br Just wondering... br br What has my life come to? br br As I lean back to forget whats happened br br I let up on the guns safety br br Knowing theres a single round waiting in the chamber br br Slowly I raise the gun... br br I release my finger of the trigger guard... br br Just to put it on the trigger it self br br As memories fly through my mind I start to cry br br Trying to figure out... br br What have I done? br br I realize I'm not as happy as I want to be br br I press my head hard against my pillow br br Still tears poor down my face br br As I remember the name... br br I realize I can't give up br br I made promises br br I intend to keep br br Crying like a baby br br Trying to figure out what happened last night br br I slowly put the gun down br br As I let up on the magazine release br br The magazine hits the floor with a loud bang br br Pulling hard on the slide br br The bullet ejects and falls next to me br br I lay staring at the ceiling br br Still wondering...