I. br br Two, please, br In the loge— br Partially obstructed br if possible. br br II. br br Playing the voice coach br and his favorite soprano. br From backstage br I urge her on br to the E above high C. br br III. br br Thigh to thigh br On the bench br With the organist. br My feet gently manipulate br her pedals, as she br pulls out all the stops br for a fugue in D minor. br br IV. br br Ménage á trois with br French and English horns. br br A peccadillo (or two) br with the second piccolo. br br Euphoria with br the euphonium. br br Rumors concerning br the oboist and br her embouchure are br decidedly true. br br V. br br Oh, how I envy her cello! br I long to feel the tension br of her bow across my strings br during that final movement. br br VI. br br As she turns her back br on the piano, br her eyes meet mine; br all the notes br in an octave and a half br play at once. br Sustained. br br VII. br br Lady tubist, wrists tied br with red ribbon, br blindfolded and br tickled from behind br to an involuntary glissando. br br VIII. br br She gasps br as I raise the lid br on her harpsichord br and begin to adjust br her plectrum. br br IX. br br Timpani rolling, br Thundering crescendo, br Cymbals crash br Mallet strikes chimes br Percussion and passion br Palpating br Presto, presto br With an innocent final note br From the triangle.