Like Puffing Billy br under full steam, br you chuff and chug br your way into the shower. br br At high speed br you shed your clothes, br revealing battle marks of recent surgery br that join those now long faded, br when bottles, bikes br and boxing gloves br made their indelible stamp. br br You stand under the water, br cursing, when the new control refuses to obey - br ‘What’s the matter with this stupid thing? ” br and lather your body br compulsively, br belligerently, br as if soap and water br might somehow wash away br the helplessness you hate so hard. br br I scrub your back br ‘Yes please…’ br and wash your pretty feet. br The steam fogs up my glasses. br br Your skin is smooth as soap, br your buttocks, freckle-cheeked br (and sexy still at seventy eight) . br br I notice your fresh clothes br (old habits never die) br laid out in regimental order br on the bed - br shoes carefully polished, br socks folded just the way mum used to. br br I help you dress, trim your mo’ br and comb your hair. br Your good hand squeezes me cheekily on the bum br ‘My poor little girl. br Fancy being stuck with an old cripple.’ br br br Oh my darling, you don't know the half of it...