My wishes become br ever br decreasing br circles. br br Please don't let it be cancer. br Please don't let it have spread. br Please let it be treatable. br Please give him five years br four years br three years br two years br six months? br br Let him see the roses this summer br the rhododendron this spring br the early daffodils br fragile snowdrops br tomorrow? br br Please let him live longer, br Please let him live without pain, br Please....no distress br Please...no anguish br Please, let him die now. br br The essence of you becomes diluted, day by day br and finally I think I am letting go. br A thousand pieces of confetti br taken in the wind, piece by piece. br br Grief is SO exhausting. br Each day is now, officially,72 hours. br Wearily I climb these stairs, br and then SUDDENLY, you give me br that look I know. br A turn of your head, br a wink, br and you're back, br just for a moment. br br So I step back a little, br then the climb seems so much harder. br You will reach the stair end before me. br br The torturous rise and fall, br rise and fall. br Please. No more rise, br only free falling. br The unthinkable thought: br LET HIM DIE THIS SECOND! br br Even when my wish is granted br there lies no resolution. br My horizons diminish daily. br My final wish? br Look out for me up there - won't you? br My darling Daddy.