When your clothes came off, I was stunned br Couldn't believe you wanted to have some fun br Breathless I fell asleep with you br Really thought you did the same, too br What a surprise was I in for br When you handcuffed me and opened the door br A film crew ran in with lights in my face br Laughing you said I was being put in my place br Flipped me over with a whip in your hand br What was happening I didn't understand br What a surprise was I in for br You beat me and asked if I wanted more? br Never had nothing happened like this in my life br Then in through the door walked my wife br Dressed up like a bad dominitrix br I knew I was gonna suffer some tricks br What a surprise was I in for br You treated me worse than a whore br She told me this was the end of my cheating br Right after she gave me one hell of a beating br Striped my ass from head to my feet br Told me the next time, I'd be more than beat br Out came a tube of Super Glue br Unfortunately, I knew what you were gonna do br Glued my best friend to my inner thigh br To standing urination, I said goodbye br Next day the maid walked into the room br Opening the drapes got rid of the gloom br Saw me on the bed and a whip on the floor br Said ' Senor', you need a little more' br Beat my ass and left me crying br Called the cops and told 'em I was dying br What a surprise was I in for br They came and kicked down the door br Laughing so hard they pissed their britches br While the whole time I'm calling them sonsofbitches br What a surprise was I in for!br br james d nall,jrbr br