You had travelled so far, but I couldn’t wait, br to share doubts, in my last conscious hour. br Such grief is my gift to the man that I love br I am certain to weep within every shower. br br Have you been to see him, I cannot bear look. br I left him to dangle and writhe in sorrow br And you my dear friend, have to fill in-between, br The love he knew well and what joy he can borrow. br br Should I have tethered him to my breast, inhaled br his whole being, - fused with my final breath br Sunk us both, in a sea of colourless Morphine, br (oops nurse, spilt my meds, just leave me the rest.) br br Remember our teens - wild shrieks - tapping feet br baby steps in tight skirts – pointed harlequin shoes. br How a love nudged apart two giggling Gerties, br and signposts got lost for paths there to choose. br br The wanting was there, I could read his signs. br I knew too how gladly he’d lay by my side. br Content to pass each lethal dose between lips, br that shrunk to form horror the day that I died. br br Will you see him again before you leave? br Shake my scent through the weave of his pillow, br I am golden with moments of love that he gave, br And the next time we meet will remind him so.