I am building a skeleton within, br My first accomplishment of adulthood. br All other projects and five-year plans have failed. br And seeing others soaring on careers br While I, unable yet to walk, br Have known what was the 'missing link' - br That deep bone structure of self-love. br As if born premature br and on a diet too meager of that essential mineral br To ever harden cartilage, br I remained soft as a baby's ear, br Or like a jellyfish unable to withstand br the punch and thrust of life br Except to ride upon it. br As soon as I could feed myself br I wanted this more than anything: to ossify. br br But in my childhood all I could manage br Was to toughen skin to a crustacean shield, br Hiding the soft pulp from abuse. br And it would work for a while - br I could crawl about, retreat from harm. br But I sensed my shell was not what I needed: br Encumbered in armor, br The taste, warmth and texture br Of skin-to-skin remained out of reach. br br So slowly plate by plate of mail br Sloughed off like scales, as the core br Thickens with the salt of tears br Held back, un-shed, but seeping br Into bone to fill the spaces.