My soul br disguised as a shadow br br drifted back br into my past br br managed unseen br to cross the border br br of Life br (& Death) br br enter again br that room br br where the memory br begins br br (when the memory wasn’t even a memory) br but the real thing br br my soul steals a crumb br of her laughter br nothing that could be br missed br br the merest sliver. br br I (then) br shiver br br seeing my soul br stealing my sister’s br laughter br br but not recognising it br seeing only br br a shadow of a shadow. br br br Throwing off its shadowy br clothes br br my soul br returns br br smelling remotely of br a Past br br the stale smell br of Death. br br “Did you get it...did you get it! ” br I demand. br br br “Yes...yes...but don’t br ask me again! ” br br br “If God ever finds out...” br br br But I don’t hear br I am beyond br br my soul’s br reproach br br following the steps br of my tears br br leading me to br br the treasure br of her br br laughter. br br ******* br br Long for you to turn br & then...smile at me again. br But – the photo won’t br listen to me...'Listen to me! ' br Deaf to everything but – Death. br br ******** br br Your grave buried now br beneath such snow & prayers. br Both angel & I br gazing at nothing...sky... br you so alive...in my head. br br ******* br br So cold...my shadow br frozen to the ground...fract...ures br as I move away br I leave it behind and grow br another to take with me.