(With apologies to Hilaire Belloc) The story of Jan who bought too many shoes and put her foot in it in the end. br br This is the tale of Janice whose br fatal obsession was buying shoes: br a hundred pairs of shoes lay piled br within her wardrobe – her husband filed br for a divorce – he said the grounds br were: she was spending pounds and pounds br on sandals, slippers, high heels, pumps, br designer trainers, striped and spotty – br Janice bought them all, quite dotty. br br Now Jan’s obsession grew intense br and free from the good influence br of hubby, she went quite bananas, br went to Dolce and Gabana’s - br no longer satisfied with Marks, br she bought with plastic and loans from sharks. br br The outcome you’ll have guessed, I’m sure: br her credit rating through the floor, br the loan sharks said, “Pay up or we br will give you concrete boots – you’ll see! ” br br I’m sure that you will sympathise br with Jan’s distress – she rolled her eyes, br and wept and screamed, went on her knees br and texted hubby, “Help me, please! ” br br Her grieving husband read her plea br but said, “No use to come to me! br You’ve run through all my money too – br I’m every bit as broke as you! ” br br And that is why, should you swim near br the Royal Pavilion, Brighton Pier, br you’ll meet a little skeleton br with heavy concrete bootees on.