It was not that I loved her br I loved that she loved me; br it was a guilty feeling; br something like a drug; br I enjoyed the attention br reassured that my true love br would come along some day br and her attraction to me was the gentle light br which would make me visible enough br for future love to see me in the dimly lit future. br br It was not fair to her and I told her one day. br 'You make me feel special and I like that' br I said 'but I also feel guilty because in feeling br this way I feel I am cheating you br of the love you deserve.' br br 'I know' she said br 'You know? ' I said br 'Sure, it makes me feel good that br you feel good from what I do with you. br I am not cheated. br Love? No. br I am just practicing being a good person br and like you I am waiting br for my true love to come along some day. br But every day with you, I am practicing not only br to love but also how to be a friend. Friend in the long run br is what is left after the passion wans br and it lasts a life time.' br 'You are very smart.' I said. br 'No, ' she said 'just trying it on for size.