Here now br I hold you br br astonished at br your newness. br br One hand br cups your bum br br the other br cradles your head br br you poop into my palm. br br You smile br your smile br br still unused to it br and its magic br br wave a tiny lazy hand br as if you were royal br br & I an adoring br subject. br br The music of you br plays br br in my mind br as if I were br br a mechanical piano br notes played by invisible hands. br br Your skull br has yet to get it together br br the fontanelle pulsing br as if each thought could be seen br br beating like a bird br against my hushed fingertips. br br Years later br my hands so much older now br br I cradle your crying br stroke your punk goth hair br br as you weep br over your first 'real' boyfriend br br (he obviously a jerk) br br your constant wailing: 'Why... br ... didn't it work! ' br br My fingertips br caressing where thought once pulsed br br your sweet secret self br hidden from me now br br in your growing up.