There was a young patrolman who br Had large but tender feet; br They always hurt him badly when br He walked upon his beat. br (He always took them with him when br He walked upon his beat.) br br His name was Patrick Casey and br A sweetheart fair had he; br Her face was full of freckles—but br Her name was Kate McGee. br (It was in spite of freckles that br Her name was Kate McGee.) br br 'Oh, Pat!' she said, 'I’ll wed you when br Promotion comes to you!' br 'I’m much-obliged,' he answered, and br 'I’ll see what I can do.' br (I may remark he said it thus— br 'Oi’ll say phwat Oi kin do.') br br So then he bought some new shoes which br Allowed his feet more ease— br They may have been large twelves. Perhaps br Eighteens, or twenty-threes. br (That’s rather large for shoes, I think— br Eighteens or twenty-threes!) br br What last they were I don’t know, but br Somehow it seems to me br I’ve heard somewhere they either were br A, B, C, D, or E. br (More likely they were five lasts wide— br A, B plus C, D, E.) br br They were the stoutest cowhide that br Could be peeled off a cow. br br But he was not promoted br br So br Kate wed him anyhow. br br (This world is crowded full of Kates br That wed them anyhow.