At six starting school overcome by the most br overpowering mystery of all: Where was I br before I had become, would there have only br been one long dark night of blackness where br my mind was if I had never been born? br br Could the World have become without me br being aware of all-encompassing sensory br embrace? Troubled deeply by an image of br blackness that was me until I arrived in the br light, tried to figure it out br br If the vacancy that would have been me were br never filled by light of my seeing eyes, if the br World never came into being for me, did it ever br exist – given that I would never have been br possible or remotely aware of it? br br Would my life have been eternal unconscious br nothingness? How was it possible I escaped br the blackness whence I came, and did I not br come, would the World have been a non-event? br I was deeply troubled, all strange new things br br The school compound, large fir trees standing br high, doves cooing morning greetings before br class, bright sunrays flooding the passage, a br wedding doll someone brought to school, the br most beautiful thing I had ever seen br br If I’d never seen them then for me there would br not have been a World; where would I have br been before then, where and how? Easy to see br this perplexed state caused me headaches, br had to stop thinking in order to rest br br Nightmare ideas of non-being and vagueness br without light – my consciousness just dimly br aware of blackness for eternity, fatiguing br and scary, knowing in the end my perceptions br were the only door to the world I’d ever have br br and I was scared not knowing whence br I came and where I was headed…br br Margaret Alicebr br