I want you to tell me that you need me- br is that so hard? br br I want you to see me and not turn away. br br I carve sometimes even a gentle glance br or better br a soft touch and softer voice saying br 'are you ok? ' br br br Rejection cuts like a dull knife br and kindness is a hurtful stranger br when not freely given and often br even if a substitute br for love br abandoned br br Seeing you retreat inward br crushes my soul br and make me feel weak- br to weak to make it stop- br too weak to reach out- br and draw you out- br to weak to even cry sometimes. br br No greater pain br than the pain of feeling unloved; br no greater din br than the din of silence. br br No arm shorter than br the one which one br which wants to reach out br but is always too short from the lover in retreat br no hand ghostlier than the one which reaches out just after you have turned away. br br So sex even is spiritless br yet it is better than br the cigarettes and beer br haze in which I sometimes find you br at three am TV snowing. br br Worse, for any woman br or any man br beyond even all this br is the unmistakable sense br that you long for that something else br foraging with your eyes br to some stranger passer-by; br and I cannot re-direct br those longing looks br back my way br intoning in my soul; br 'Don't you see br I am the one who loves you.' br br We are the ghost ship br drifting upon the dead sea br and yet br curse me for the time being- br I'd rather drift in this maelstrom br with you br than anyone else; br br so deep is my love.