I can’t imagine what went wrong br To make everything else go wrong br Leaving me this numb, br This desperate, br Struggling against overpowering waves, br Suffocating, yet surviving, br Only to face everything agonizing. br br Sobbing and shaking- I scream. br But all directions echo it back, br Deafening and maddening me. br Helpless and lost- I look around. br But nothing holds any familiar shade. br A lump in throat and squeeze in heart br Tell nothing good’s going to start. br br “Why me? ”, “Why this? ”, “Why now? ” br The heat of unanswered questions br Only leave me in thirst... br I’m now used to asking these myself br Asking world, br Asking God, br That they’ve become empty and hollow. br br Even as I step on each thorn, br I take the next step, br Expecting soft petals caressing my feet br Only to have- to my utter disbelief, br Yet another one pierce and pain me… br Forcing me to take br Yet another drink, from the cup of resignation. br br Fate raises her hand again br To strike me with terrible blows br Yet I look at her br In cold contempt and pity, br As one would, at a clueless clown, br Performing same old jokes over and over, br That no longer evokes any laughter. br br “You are powerless to destroy me”, I laugh br A bitter, careless laugh br “Because I can’t be anymore destroyed…” br br The mirth and joy filling the world br Seems just strangeness br With no meaning whatsoever… br What’s real is what’s happening to me br This terrifying darkness engulfing me. br And as I drown in this abject misery br I have lost even the strength to whisper- br “Someone please save me.