Now before you go and find one, br I’ve written you a guide br On what goes on with men these days br So keep this by your side. br br They’ll Home in on your best bits br They’ll talk straight to your chest br They’ll make you feel that you’ve struck gold br You’ll think he is the best! br br He’ll treat you like a princess br He’ll sometimes buy you roses br The first few dates he’ll hold your hand br And kiss you, rubbin’ noses. br br You take him to a clothes shop br You walk around and kiss br You ask him from the changing rooms br “Does my bum look big in this” br br He’ll simply say “Of course not” br “That dress was made for you” br Now secretly, you know yourself br That dress would cover two! br br You go to meet his parent’s br They tell you of his past br And while you’re in the loo you hear br “How long will this one last” br br But soon the best bits start to fade br And this is what you’ll get br From the guy you met a year ago br The prince you thought you’d met. br br The shopping soon is simple br You’re out there on your own br No need for his opinion br But he’s there when you get home. br br He’s sat there at the table br He’s waiting to be fed br He doesn’t ask about your day br Just grunts and moans instead.