So elated when pain abated - migraine making my br eyeballs pop as if starting from their sockets, had br to lie down after one bite into a honey glazed fatty br rasher endowing me with a fibreglass spine br br No help in reading - no inspiration in images or br thoughts, seeking a space to park my mind - I br cannot change my mental station to the right br frequency, stuck on infamous planet survival br br Where joy must be derived from the mere fact of br existence - I prefer being happy to existing like a br vegetable - but tonight I’m a small piece of br mineral without the requisite magic br br No visions and dreams to redeem my ideas, to br make my brain secrete serotonin or more up- br lifting compounds – here I am, sitting up-right, br bored with TV and breathing alike br br Every cell is alive - seers claim; every wish for br improvement is answered - Elias, the latest in br my spiritual pantheon, says I am blocking well- br being that would have been - if only I were br br More trusting and sociable; if it means wandering br though social chat-rooms exchanging opinions, I br might as well wander with the Israelites through br the desert after their escape from Egypt: br br Will I ever get there? br br Margaret Alice Secondbr br