He was middle-aged which br means that the mixture of br death and life in him was br still undetermined. And br all of a sudden he took br an unwarranted turn—impul- br sive, convulsive. As in br those nineteenth-century br plays where the roof gets br blown off the convention- br al house and the audience br is left to gape at the br heroine bareheaded—him. br He has a gift for self- br serious hyperbole and he br resorts to it regularly br to describe and explain br his behavior. Not that br anything happened. But br he stared into something, br an abyss or a garden, and br now in the aftermath he’s br more alone than before. br He has not been forgiven, br not that he wants to be. br What he wants is to know br what he saw, that it wasn’t br theatrics. But that’s br hard to achieve, things br being what they are, the br others implicated being br themselves. So he walks br in circles and wonders br and kicks at the leaves.