Average blokes wonder what my secret is br I'm not handsome or a brilliant scientist br But when I start to tell them br They say 'Swivel on this! ' br I say br It's in the glint of my smile br The quickness of quip br The laugh in my voice br My shoulderless chip br I'm a Bloke br Pheromonally br Pheromonal Bloke br Yup. That's me. br br Women themselves have wondered br What they see in me br They laugh so much br But don't want to touch br My odd asymmetry br When I try to show them br They usually flee br I say br It's in my lunchpack br My bum and my piles br The size of my chutzpah br The depth of my guile br I'm a Bloke br Pheromonally br Pheromonal Bloke br Yup. That's me. br br br Now you understand br Why my head isn't brown br I don't gossip or bugger about br Or run my mates down br When you see me passing br Go up-wind, not down br I say br It's in the size of my Wheels br The lack of brown hair br The pint in my hand br The fact I'm 'in care' br 'Cause I'm a Bloke br Pheromonally br Pheromonal Bloke br Yup. That's me. br br br br (Maya, if you read this I'm not sorry because imitation IS the sincerest form of compliment.) br br If you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it - go and have a shower.