(The man who wants the perfect wife should marry a br 'stock-size.' She comes cheaper.-London Chronicle.) br br Ah, Myrtilla, woe and dear me! br Lackadaydee and alas! br What is this, I greatly fear me, br That has come to pass? br br Craving, as I do, perfection, br Loathing anything like flaws, br I must raise a slight objection br To your building laws. br br You are five one-and-a-quarter, br And your girth is thirty-three- br Myrtie, you're a little shorter br Than you ought to be. br br It is far from my intentions br Your proportions to describe, br Briefly, Myrtie, your dimensions br Do not seem to jibe. br br Farewell, Myrt, for Ethelisa br Seems to be my certain fate, br Stupid? Silly? Sure, but she's a br Perfect thirty-eight.br br Franklin P.