Bollywood heroine Manisha Koirala who was recently spotted in a saffron attire said it is tough to lead such a life. The 44-year-old 'Dil Se' star, posted on her Facebook page, "This is just to say that I have had a fortune of being in company of sadhu and sadhvi but I am no where close to being one! I'm in deep gratitude that Pilot Baba called me for ahamrityunjaya hawan... And I just happen to wear a saffron coloured clothes! Yes, my mind has been dabbling with the concept of renunciation and sanyas but that's only because I am inquisitive," Koirala posted on her Facebook page.