Actress Carmen Llywelyn spent eight years immersed in the Church of Scientology. Since leaving, she penned an essay for Gawker entitled "Why I Left Scientology," that details her troubling history with the religion. br br "The reality of Scientology is deceptively hidden and cleverly disguised. When I look at Scientology today, I have to forgive myself for not seeing through the manipulation sooner," she writes. "It hasn't been easy, but I've realized that the religion is built on a foundation of violence." br br Carmen's ex-husband, actor Jason Lee (My Name is Earl, anyone?) introduced her to the church. br br When Carmen, 41, first set foot in the church's Celebrity Centre, at the age of 20, she describes getting a "horrible feeling," but she pursued the religion to save her marriage. br br "When I think back, I believe a part of me knew if I didn't accept Scientology the marriage would be over before it even started. Regardless of how different I feel about Jason and Scientology today, I was very much in love with the guy and wanted our marriage to work. I did what I thought was right. But I made the mistake of immersing myself completely in his world. I did what so many other people who join Scientology do: I lost all sense of individual identity in the name of the cult." br br "As we kept going, it occurred to me how unreal and expensive Scientology was going to be," she said, adding that she realized that membership would cost her upwards of $50,000. "To me, Scientology seemed more of a surreal lifestyle for the privileged than a kind of belief system.