John and Bob reflect on the painful journey of leaving high-control religious groups and the struggle to find authentic faith afterward. They open up about grief, trauma, and the challenge of rebuilding belief after encountering a false image of God. Their discussion highlights how many survivors develop “spiritual scar tissue,” making them hypersensitive to control, manipulation, and inauthenticity in new church settings. br br Together, they outline what to look for when searching for a healthy community: authenticity over image, relationships over numbers, peacemakers over narcissistic leaders, and a willingness to embrace questions without fear. Both hosts emphasize that faith after disillusionment is not about urgent theological perfection but about finding authentic relationships, honest dialogue, and the freedom to explore belief with fresh eyes. br br 00:00 Introduction br 00:31 John recalls his first YouTube channel and exposing false teachings br 02:59 Discovering the false Jesus taught in cults vs. the Bible br 05:23 Why many survivors can’t hear the name “Jesus” again right away br 06:29 Bob shares about his mother’s passing and lessons from grief br 09:01 Hospice wisdom: regrets about relationships and dying well br 13:12 The struggle to find an authentic church experience br 15:09 John’s advice: don’t pick one church—explore and take notes br 20:12 Values shift across life stages and family needs br 23:05 The problem of authenticity vs. church growth models br 26:36 Scar tissue and walking out of triggering church services br 32:01 John’s experiences with controlling churches after leaving the cult br 36:42 Struggling with anger-based portrayals of God br 38:55 Narcissism and control within ex-cult support groups br 40:01 The “Etch-A-Sketch” moment: clearing false foundations br 42:09 Bob recalls the “wannabe apostles” of Kansas City br 48:24 Authenticity, brokenness, and why bars feel more real than churches br 53:58 Communion, foot washing, and what healthy community looks like br 57:27 Pastors on pedestals vs.