2010-06-16 1st Journal, Mayan day 8 Alligator or Crocodile ♥ TRANSCRIPT: Intro: Ah, the tears are once again heavy on my heart, in my awareness. Though I know not why, I suspect - it’s because my brother and his wife have returned, and are home from their trip. I don’t look forward to seeing them, for, though I have done some, even much internal work, I don’t know how well that translates to the outside. There are many momentums, there, to be dealth (‘typo’ for dealt) with. He called as soon as they returned, just to let me know they were home. I could tell, though, that he and his wife had been talking. I could tell that they realized, in hindsight, that I hadn’t been treated well at the wedding, and they want to mend fences. I wonder to what extent they know, consciously, that I am only property to them - and not a person? I think they know, probably well know, but I’m not sure. It doesn’t matter, really. It is what it is, and that’s that. I accept it. It’s just a matter of finding out how to navigate in the midst of it - that is all. Though there is the sense of weight and burden to it, that is only apparent, only a seeming, transitory by its nature. Some nows are heavier than others. That’s meant to be. It’s designed like that for a purpose. That says you’re ready for that, whatever that is - it is time. That’s a good thing. Though it may not seem it, in the moment, it really is, and will be shown so by hindsight. All one need do is be true to the moment - to that which appears. By giving oneself fully to this moment, all is accomplished. No more is needed - nothing else is required. Just be true to this now. Don’t run away from it, or run to another now in its place. Just be here with whatever arises... Distributed by Tubemogul.